Chapter 2: Dating 101

Luckily for me she thought I was funny. I was glad because to see her smile was like witnessing a miracle of some sorts. I know its cheesy that's why I said it. After a few exchanges of LOL's we decided to swap numbers. This is the first obstacle a man must overcome when pursuing the opposite sex. But even when we get the number we don't know what to do with it. “How long should I wait?” If you call to early you may seem to eager, if you give it a day or two, she may think you didn't find her interesting enough to call sooner. Here's a hint, depending on when you get the number say for instance in the afternoon call her that night, before bed even let her know you were thinking about her. Believe me she will appreciate it.

Back to the story...

Dates are like interviews point blank, but there is really one great difference, DO NOT LIE on your first date. I know on interviews we often stretch the truth to get that dream job, but lying to get that dream woman never works. She'll find out and then she'll begin to think what else have you lied about.

Our first date was the typical dinner date, but I'm fine with that, I like to think a great date is more about the person and the conversation than what the two people did on the date. Anyway on our date, we went through conversation 101, you know, “where you from” “oh whats it like out there” “have any brothers and sisters,” (actually that's a good question you can find out a lot about a person depending on if they have siblings or are an only child, your compatibility may depend on it). Then you ask what do they like to do, men ask questions, it shows you are interested and not self centered, but remember to listen to her response because if you don't then the asking part was a waste of time.

During my listening, something stuck out, I asked her what is her goal in life, and she answered “To be happy.” I know that can mean anything and I could have had her be more specific but I felt it wasn't needed. I mean we all want to be happy, it's probably the most common goal we all share. And before I can dig any further, the food arrived.
Why do women eat like food is poison and if you take it slow, it lowers the risk of death? Here I am eating as I normally would, not to fast as to seem like a pig, and not to slow as to seem if the food isn't up to par. I'm like the Goldielocks of eating. And she just sits and takes her time, smh.

After dinner we decided to go for a walk, the walk and talk can be very tricky you really have to be careful what you say during these twilight strolls, one minute you can be gingerly walking and the next arguing and the middle of the park all the while people and nocturnal animals stop and stare. I began tell her how I was a clutz as young boy. I fell off a garage, off my bike, off a tree and walked into one resulting in a big knot and an even bigger disappointing look on my fathers face.

She began to tell me how she always wanted to be a dancer. “My mom, said she could feel me dancing while I was in her belly, and as I got older it was the only thing that relieved any stress I was feeling at the time. But when I hit high school I realized that I enjoyed just dancing and to turn it into a career, might take some of that enjoyment away.”

She went on to tell me other details about her such as her very first baby doll to her first time she fell in love. No matter what she talked about, I hung every word it was like... I don't know what it was like, but I know you do, and you know words wouldn't do it any justice. After what seemed like hours, we headed toward our cars. I walked her to hers, and gave her a kiss on the cheek, a hug and told her good night.

As I watched her pull out of the parking lot, a sense of dread came over me. I began to wonder if she had a good time, how did I come off? I just sat there, in my car replaying the date as if it was game film.

“Ok you see when she asked about your mother, you came off soft, she probably thinks your weak! And look at you walking through the park, what are you scared of? You should of held her hand!”

As I was about to hit the showers, my phone ranged. I looked down and it was my good friend asking how the date went. I masked my disappointment, and told him it was ok, he in turn suggested for the umpteenth to hook me up with his girlfriend's friend. Who on our first date suggested we get married and had our kids named picked out! As I try to explain to him how I like to know more than just a woman's last name before marriage, Luv calls. I tell my friend goodnight, and click over.

“I hope I'm not bothering, Luv says, after mutual salutations. It's just I'm laying here in bed and you were on my mind. I really had a good time tonight.”

There it was! Confirmation, that dumbbell my heart was trying to lift just became lighter. Of course I told her that tonight was great, and we should see each other again. As I lay my head on my pillow I began to think of a plethora of topic conversations. I didn't want to get off the phone I didn't care how late it was. So we began to talk about everything, and I mean everything:

Little things you may not know about Luv...


• Fav. Cartoon Character: Winnie the Pooh


• Fav. Movie: The Notebook


• Fav. Song: “Can You Handle It" -Usher


• Most embarrassing Moment: First period was during her confirmation


• Last Relationship Ended because “He said, He Could Do Better.”

Here I am thinking... Not only was this guy a fool, but he's also a liar. (To Be Continued)

Love You Not: Chapter One: My name is...

Ever since I could remember, I often had this belief that life is fairly unfair; and thus complaining about it was useless. I know what you’re thinking and you’re right, I still complain. Not as much as the average person I guess, but enough to make one think I was average.

To blend in, no need in unwanted attention. Who wants to go through life with everyone asking “how are you so calm, what is your secret?” Instead no one asks me anything besides why are you so quiet… I observe my surroundings, I speak when I have something to say, some see it as rude others as weird, either way I am happy. At least I was until I met her, hold that thought!

Unlike life though, love has different rules altogether, and they are not printed anywhere for easy reference. It is almost as if you are making a pact with the devil.

“Dear Love,
I know you don’t care about me but if you could please give me a chance at this love thing, I promise my undying devotion and trust that you do exist. And no matter how scarred I come out of this, I will encourage those after me to make the same pact and so on and so on.”

Something along those lines, anyway, there are all sorts of quotes about love, but my favorite is

"The best thing about loving and being hurt is that you get to know what true love really is. For as gold is tested in fire, and so will love be perfected in pain."
- Marvin Jay M. Torres

Now I don’t know much about this Torres fellow, but I do I understand where he is coming from. All extraordinary artists will tell you their greatest works came from pain, and the greatest pain comes from love. At the moment of what may be my greatest pain, I’ll give you my love.

By the time I was 21, I had for the most part figured out women. I know! I had accomplished some great feat, but I never saw it like that. All I knew was women liked me and hell I got along with the opposite sex quite nicely. But for me, it was a little easier than most guys since I would move from relationship to relationship and carry on two or three at a time.

I had built up this ideology that I needed two women to complete me since when one would get me upset, I would just call the other who would make me feel better, neglecting the fact that at no point was I giving my undivided attention to just one female. Now this logic would had been just perfect if I did not have plans to settle down, the way I saw it was I was headed for a future marriage, with a mistress on the side. I mean no one wants to practice monogamy for the first time, on their wife to be.

Slowing down was hard, I was good at starting relationships and ending them, but maintaining them..., especially with just one person would be like an exercise in futility. My attention span was that of a three year old. I enjoyed the chase, and more so than the chase, the challenge. The chase was easy, you find out the girl likes you or some cases doesn't like you, you chase until you catch. But the challenge for me was an art. I only dated girls who were on the brink of giving up. The ones who were looking at becoming a nun or a lesbian, men had ruined their life and it was time for a drastic change. Now, since I was a young male at the time, most of these females haven’t reached 21 yet, but life was somehow meaningless after a few bad relationships.

The reward though, that’s what enticed me to change, two juicy rewards that I believed I could achieve:

One, CONTROL, to be master of his own domain, to see a beautiful woman and just keep walking as if she does not exist. Knowing that you have someone as beautiful waiting for you at home is all you can think about. Ignoring women advances, the flirting, the touching, the look. Every guy has seen a woman look at him in such a way that it seems with just her eyes she is saying “Come talk to me, I know you want to, why are you playing with me.” Needless to say, a plethora of men have fell victim to the look. But I wanted to be able to look the look in the eyes and kindly reply “No thank you.”


Two, LOVE, most guys who juggle women will often tell you they love one of them, or even both, with a straight face. Hell even I said this, but one fails to realize that it is difficult to love someone when you do not love yourself, and you do not love yourself if you are not honest with the one you “love.” Believe me you do not come to this conclusion until well past the “playa” stage. And after you do reach this explanation you may remain in a state of denial, for-ever.


Ok I believe I have stalled long enough, when I met Luv, I could had gone on some long tangent about her beauty, her smile, the way angels sung when she spoke or any other cliche that you've heard or seen a dozen times in a 1000 romantic movies. With that said, I will say she was a Goddess, someone Venus herself would envy, breath taking, neck breaking gorgeous. Not the kind of woman you dream about, because you could not sleep on her. I approached with caution , crossed the yellow tape and spoke, hoping my voice would not crack like a prepubescent teenager. I am the furthermost thing from smooth, when I first meet a woman, I crack jokes to mask my nervousness, hoping if she laughs she can only be thinking one of two things, either he's funny or crazy. Make that three she could think I'm both. But, instead of opening with a great one liner, the first words that came out my mouth was “Hi...” (To Be Continued)

Day One

I'm starting over...

I've said this time and time again. I've done this time and time again. And as you probably know by now, I have failed time and time again. Honestly I can't tell you if this time will be different, I can't tell you that some moment in my life has awakened me to change for the better.

Actually a piece of me wants to fail, I'm good at that, its a consistent. While change on the other hand, brings a slice of fear. Uncertainty the same color death is painted with.

I apologize for forgoing a formal introduction, but I felt as if it wasn't needed. But if you insists, my name is Jon I'm on the "wrong" side of 25 and I'm trying to break in to the music business while selling TVs on the side.

This blog so to speak is about everything, from the inner workings of my personal life (believe me this will not turn into a dear diary) to my thoughts on subjects effecting us all. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I promise if you stick around I'll make it worth your while.